End of March

I have had a busy time this month. Wednesday, 18th March, was my birthday, a big one as I turned 70. I decided as it was, obviously, a once in a lifetime experience, I would organise several celebratory events. On the day Rowan, my daughter, Ailsa and I went out for lunch to Cafe 33, a popular venue in Norwich. Rowan brought Ledger, our grandchild, of course. He is now seven months old, and I will admit to having the grandparent prejudice of thinking he is exceptionally smart and good looking.

I had never been to this venue but had noted that it is very popular, with queues outside the door, even in winter! I now understand why. The food is excellent and the prices extremely reasonable. The exterior is not very inviting, the frontage is on a busy city street and it is not easily accessible. Once we were in it was really special.

I should note that the reason we were there in the first place is that I had been persuaded to get a loyalty card by one of the big department stores nearby. One of their selling points was 20% off on one’s birthday. It was tempting, but it turned out their restaurants are not!

In the evening, Rowan, Douglas, Ailsa, Ledger and I along with Rowan’s husband Ben and his parents went out for supper to an Indian restaurant in the city. I was not quite the eldest, that honour goes to her father-in-law with whom I occasionally go walking in the Norfolk countryside. We are very nearly the same age and I enjoy his company.

The big event, on Saturday the 21st, was a party at one of our favourite pubs The Unthank Arms. This is in the Golden Triangle in Norwich, a part of the city where we lived many years ago, both as students and, sometime later, with the kids when I was on sabbatical. The pub provided food for the 50 guests. It was actually very good value. I paid for food and put enough cash on the bar to cover a drink for everyone there. We occupied their function area on the first floor. This had a bar and a dance floor. I don’t think anyone even attempted to dance, but there were a lot of conversations.

It was an altogether fantastic evening especially seeing many old friends, some of whom travelled a considerable distance. Guests included people who were at school with me in Swaziland, both at St Mark’s and Waterford; the couple of friends from university days; an ODI fellow who was in Botswana at the same time as me; people I subsequently worked with in various countries and positions; and finally, family and friends from Norwich.

The largest cohort were relatives, all descendants of my grandfather. They included a sister and a half sister; cousins of various degrees; and children and grandchildren: 34% of the group were related in some way! The age range was from Ledger to my half sister Pat who is well into her 90s.

We put together a playlist for music, but there was so much noise from people chatting that it was inaudible. I suppose, on the positive side, I have three hours of my favourite music I can listen to whenever I want.

The party was a great success. I said a few words and then Rowan, Douglas, my sister Gill, and my old friend David Crush from Swaziland, all spoke briefly and flatteringly. Despite my request that no one bring presents I was given a couple of bottles of fine wine and an interesting book, which speaks to the art of writing a memoir!

I specifically asked the family for some new technology, a Kindle and a Fitbit – which I now need to set up. Luckily part of the gift is helping me get it up and running! This should last a good long time, my current Fitbit no longer keeps a long charge, and the current Kindle is really old and clunky.

On the Sunday the extended family went out to the Waffle House in Norwich for breakfast. This is a family favourite. It was opened in 1978 by a South African couple, and we have been going to it since then. It was a fantastic way to end the birthday celebrations, and I am grateful to my family and friends for their enthusiastic participation in the various events.

Jon Salisbury was at Waterford for A’ Levels from 1971 to 1974 and is the archivist among my friends, he provided three of the photographs below. Sadly, apart from age, these also record my receding hairline and expanding stomach! In addition, I hired a photographer for the evening. Luke Witcomb worked with and for Rowan before she went on maternity leave and he took a series of excellent pictures that I will put on Dropbox for people to see and download if they wish.

Of course, a birthday like this gives rise to introspection and makes me realise that my memoir needs to be finished. At the moment the last chapter still needs to be written. I know I have an incredibly fortunate life and don’t take it for granted! This weekend endorsed that opinion for me.

Jon, David, and Alan pose for a photo at Cambridge May Ball in 1978

Jon, David, and Alan at Cambridge May Ball, 1978

Alan, Owen, Jon, and David pose for a photo at Jon's 60th

Alan, Owen, Jon, and David at Jon’s 60th in May, 2016

Jon, Alan, and David pose for a photo at Alan's birthday party

Jon, Alan, and David at Alan’s birthday party on 22nd March, 2026

Rowan, Alan, Ledger, and Doug pose for a photo at Alan's birthday party

Rowan, Alan, Ledger, and Doug at Alan’s birthday party

Theatre and Short Breaks

This somewhat meandering blog began in Paternoster, a small former fishing village on the Cape West Coast. My contribution to grandparenting is limited at this stage, so I decided to head for South Africa for a spell. As people who read this regularly know, I avoid Durban from January to April/May; it is just too hot and humid, so this was the last chance to visit for a while.

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Durban winter is the best time of the year

I have just had 10 glorious weeks in Durban. I travelled over in mid-May and came back to the UK at the end of July. I barely left Durban during this period. The only trip from the city was to Hilton, just outside Pietermaritzburg for lunch with people who attended Waterford. Most were a year or two younger than me, and I had not seen some for more than 50 years. It affirmed the value of the Waterford education and values for all of us.

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Warm by day and cool by night

The weather in Durban has been glorious, warm days (22-24°C) with cool nights. One bonus of this is there are few mosquitoes, which is unusual. What normally happens is I am just dropping off to sleep when there is a piercing hum in my ear. A mosquito, and it can’t be ignored. The little bastards are persistent, and action has to be taken. I have spray and mat to deter them. I had a friend and former colleague stay with me for just under a week. He is a good friend whom I have known for over 40 years. We played touch rugby with academics, trade unionists and people who wanted a good run around, once a week for many years. He and I did a couple of road trips which appear in blog archives (here and here).

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Cool Nights and Warm Days

May is one of the best months to be in Durban. The day-time temperature is in the low to mid-twenties, it is cool enough at night for a light blanket, and the days are gloriously sunny. Having said that, I recently started my day in a short sleeved light shirt and shorts, by lunchtime I was wearing a long-sleeved shirt and trousers and wondering if a jersey might be necessary! Fortunately, the day warmed up.

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Old Friends and Long Walks

At the end of March 2024, I spent most of a day in London with my friend Simon Dalby. He was appointed to the Balsillie School of International Affairs (BSIA) in 2013 just before me and was in the office next to mine. He retired a couple of years ago and lives on Mayne Island, off the coast of British Colombia. He was in Europe for a series of meetings and to contact and visit family members he had never met or not seen for decades.

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As we move to the end of the year

Christmas is only a few weeks away and it is time for an update to my blog. I don’t want this to become purely a record of health issues, but I have had a rotten time recently.

The reality is that, as we age, ill-health becomes more likely and recovery is slower. I am, again, suffering from an abscess in the fleshy part of my backside. This is technically a peri-anal abscess, not, as I said to my shame at one consultation, a peri-natal abscess. It is a second instalment of the same malady that put me in hospital in Durban a year ago.1

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Swallows and Sunbirds

Last month I reported my Waterford challenge – walking 280 kilometres in a month – was successfully completed. This month I can confirm that I raised the target amount. When I signed up, in 2023, my goal was to raise R67,000, R1,000 for every year I had been alive. Unfortunately, I had some health issues,1 so only embarked on the challenge on 16th June 2024. Given the delay and the passing of another birthday, I felt morally obliged to raise at least R68,000.

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Stately Homes, the Theatre, and Global Crises

Since I last posted I celebrated a birthday. It was not a significant number, although aged over 65, one should be happy to mark all birthdays. I had a pleasant few days, with family being very kind, generous and supportive! Tolstoy said in Anna Karenina: “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” At present we are happy, long may it last and touch wood. My sister Gill came up for the weekend ahead of my birthday, and Rowan and Ben joined in with many events.

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Museums in Spring

Spring is here. The days are longer; the crocuses have come and gone; the daffodils are out; there is blossom on many of the trees, indeed the first leaves are emerging; and it is slowly getting warmer. However, the welcome sunny days have been intermittent, the overwhelming feature has been grey and chilly periods. The temperature will rise in time.

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