And the final birthday celebration

I arrived back in Durban on 14 May, after the usual 6 AM flight from Norwich to Amsterdam to catch the 10:30 KLM flight to Johannesburg, overnight in the City Lodge, and then to Durban on an 11 o’clock flight on Thursday. It was all straightforward. I should have gotten the earlier flight down, as I had more than enough time to get to the check-in, one learns. In Durban I picked up a car and drove to Haymarket where I had to negotiate my way into the car park at the back of the block of flats I live in. The remotes had been changed due to an incursion when one was stolen from a car.

My luck held on the flight, and I had a block of three seats to myself, so was able to doze a little bit. I watched three films. The first was a biographical musical ‘Song Sung Blue’ (2025). It ‘centers on a real-life Milwaukee couple who toured as a Neil Diamond tribute band’. Hugh Jackman was the lead but I didn’t realise that until I looked up the film for this blog.

The second was an utterly charming film set in Windhoek, Namibia. ‘My F*k Marelize’ tells of Heidi, a strong-willed mother and Marelize, her accident-prone school leaver daughter. The girl needs to learn how to ride a bike to become an au pair in the Netherlands. It can’t be described as great cinema, but I thoroughly enjoyed it and was able to understand most of it without having to resort to the English subtitles, as it is Afrikaans. The origin is a post on Facebook filmed by the mother. It shows her daughter riding, wobbling and uncertain, across a vast rugby field at the high school. She unerringly rides into the rugby post! The mother sets off to … well who knows, but as she does the mic picks up the words, ‘my fok Marelize’.

Finally, the Portuguese film ‘Dreaming of Lions’ (2024) is about Gilda, a terminally ill Brazilian woman living in Lisbon. She wants to die painlessly. She tries suicide repeatedly and, obviously unsuccessfully, then joins ‘Joy Transition International,’ an underground organization that claims to teach people how to end their lives on their own terms. It is a black comedy and I’m glad I watched it but I wouldn’t recommend it to everyone or indeed anyone.

Durban at this time of year is absolutely glorious, every day has been sunny and warmish, 20-25 C. The first Thursday and Friday were a write off because of travel and then jet lag and overwhelming exhaustion. We had one wonderful electrical thunderstorm, not with much rain though.

On Sundays I drive to the beach and meet up with Russell Soby, whom I have known for over 30 years. We regularly have coffee at the Surf Life Saving Club. Assuming he outlives me, he has my South African will. I probably need to make another plan, as he is my age.

Last Friday I had the second of my 70th birthday celebrations. The first was in Norwich in March. The second, and final, iteration was in Durban at a wonderful venue called St Clements on Musgrave Road. They have a page on Facebook, so you can look it up if you wish. I really felt incredibly spoilt; despite my request that no one bring presents, people ignored this. I was given a significant number of bottles of wine, a couple of thoughtfully chosen books, and a photograph of a dear, but deceased, friend from my Swaziland days.

There were just under 40 people, including a number who had travelled for some distance. Some of the Waterford contingent, people I was at school with: Tracy, Monica, Catherine and Jackie, came down from Hilton, north of Pietermaritzburg. Derek and Lynn, my brother and his wife, flew up from Cape Town as did Tim Quinlan. Tim was also here to do some work, and he stayed with me from Wednesday to Sunday.

The partygoers included people I knew from the University of Kwazulu-Natal, friends from years ago, morning coffee drinkers, and a few people I still work with. There was a good contingent from the Health Economics and HIV AIDS Research Division (HEARD), the organisation I started at the University in 1998, past and present! I had a real sense of pride to see how well they are doing. It is hard to believe that I left Durban 13 years ago.

I wanted to keep the formal part of the evening as short as possible so all I did was welcome people, introduce two speakers, and thank everyone for coming and celebrating with me. That did not work out quite as I planned. Derek and Gavin George spoke, they had been asked, then Catherine Hunter, from Waterford days, and Richard Lyster took the microphone, and both said a few words. Everyone was extremely complimentary about my 70 years, which was touching. They also spoke briefly, entertainingly and well.

Richard reflected on the touch rugby game at the University which lasted from the mid-1980s to the 2000s. He pointed out I was a keen but unskilled player. What I lacked in ability I made up in enthusiasm. Catherine reported on a story she had been told about my first ever plane journey. This was to go to university in 1975, and I travelled with David Crush who was in my class at Waterford and his brother Jonty. After the plane had taken off, they taught me very seriously that there would be a rush to the bathrooms for people to put their pajamas on and they suggested I get ahead of the crowd and be the first to do that. Fortunately, while I was naive, with no experience of international travel, I was not that gullible or stupid.

I used the playlist that Rowan and Douglas helped me put together for the event in Norwich. It was and is extremely eclectic, ranging from country and western, to pipes and drums, via a number of hymns that I remember vividly from church services in Swaziland.

On Saturday we met some of the guests for breakfast at Glenwood bakery. I think everyone knows I enjoy writing and sending letters. To my surprise and delight, Monica brought and gave me three letters I wrote to her in 1977, during my first degree at the University of East Anglia. It was interesting to see what the younger Alan wrote about. One letter was particularly fascinating since I wrote to Monica, Catherine, Tracy, Philippa and Emily all at Waterford. It is five pages long and what I apparently did was to write and post one page to each of them. Some of it seems quite funny, but I will have to get a second opinion on that before I reproduce the humour. It was a long time ago. One of the letters was actually typed on a manual typewriter.

I arranged for enough money ‘behind the bar’ for everyone to have a welcome drink, and the food was provided by the venue. There were five dishes on offer, and all were absolutely excellent. The curry in particular was delicious. The event was documented by two of the guests and I will be posting the pictures on Dropbox once I get them all and select some.

The previous evening, I had been to the Oyster Box hotel in Umhlanga for supper with Derek and Lynn. The hotel has a curry buffet, a very Durban thing, so it was a gastronomic weekend. Now these events are done, I need to start planning for the next phase of life. That probably means finally getting the last chapter of the memoir written and starting to seriously look for a publisher.

Although it is only the end of May, there are signs of spring in Durban. The first weaver birds are busy building their nests in the fever trees in Bulwer Park. There are not too many at the moment but soon there will be an absolute cacophony when I walk under the trees. A couple of days ago I saw a tiny gecko on the floor in the flat. It is the first time I have seen one, so that was quite special. A more concerning episode was seeing a juvenile monkey, by itself, in the trees outside the flat at dusk. I am not sure if it had lost the troop or the troop had lost it, but I hope they were reunited.

The photographer for the event was an old friend, Cedric Sissing. He used to work on the campus bookshop (1981-2014) and now assists at the wonderful Ike’s Books on Florida Road. This is the venue for the best book launches and I have done there too. Adams sadly is no more but Cedric is still active and is a Durban icon. He is an excellent photographer so you will get a note in due course inviting you to go to the website to see pictures.

Theatre and Short Breaks

This somewhat meandering blog began in Paternoster, a small former fishing village on the Cape West Coast. My contribution to grandparenting is limited at this stage, so I decided to head for South Africa for a spell. As people who read this regularly know, I avoid Durban from January to April/May; it is just too hot and humid, so this was the last chance to visit for a while.

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Durban winter is the best time of the year

I have just had 10 glorious weeks in Durban. I travelled over in mid-May and came back to the UK at the end of July. I barely left Durban during this period. The only trip from the city was to Hilton, just outside Pietermaritzburg for lunch with people who attended Waterford. Most were a year or two younger than me, and I had not seen some for more than 50 years. It affirmed the value of the Waterford education and values for all of us.

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Durban Winters are Magnificent

As I have mentioned before, Durban in winter can be magical. The days are sunny and warm, the evenings cool, and there is no humidity to contend with. To get here I travelled from Norwich to Amsterdam on 12th June. Getting up at 4:30 am to catch the six o’clock flight to Amsterdam remains a pain, but I had time to visit the lounge before boarding the Johannesburg flight. I was lucky enough to have three seats to myself on the long-haul segment.

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Family and a Funeral

In my last post I mentioned we were hosting my half-sister Pat’s dog, Bessie, a small black Patterdale terrier. Pat’s husband, David, had been waiting for surgery and did not want the dog around in the run up to it, or in the recovery period. Bessie was with their daughter, Kate, but needed interim lodging. We collected her at the end of December. The trip was also a chance to see family.

Sadly, David died on New Year’s Eve 2023. Arranging funerals and cremations can be a lengthy process, the facilities are busy in January. The date was set for 1st February in their hometown of Cranbrook. The Norwich contingent was Ailsa, Douglas, Rowan, and me. As Rowan and Douglas could only get one day off work, we had to make a day trip.

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The Score: Durban 27°, Norwich 5°

It was something of a shock to travel from Durban to Norwich in early December 2023. Firstly, the difference in temperature was considerable; secondly, although there was a fair amount of rain in Durban, there was also sunshine. For the first week in Norwich, we had virtually no sun, just unremitting grey days; and thirdly and finally, I had been away for a long time, nearly six months. Regular readers of the blog know the reasons for my extended stay, and I won’t go into them again.

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Cape Town and the Rugby World Cup

My October seemed dominated by health issues. I don’t want to dwell on them but will give a short update, as it has taken time for me to process the events. The first day in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) was bleak. The man in the bed opposite was hooked up to machines that beeped steadily, and constantly. Additionally, there was a nurse aide sitting watching over him. Over the course of the day the beeps slowed down and eventually stopped. There were no interventions, other than to finally draw the curtains round the bed. Not something anyone would want to witness. I was, I think, the least in need of intensive care and the most conscious of my surroundings. The main reason for my inpatient status was so antibiotics could be administered intravenously.

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Is a Drought Beginning in England?

June was a dry month, and the garden, which is still verdant, lush, and green, will start showing heat stress unless we have rain in the next week. I find it unbelievable that there are those who still deny the reality of climate change. I wonder if the importance of ‘lived experience’, pardon the academic jargon here, is underestimated.

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Teeth and travel

At the beginning of October I developed a toothache. It persisted and got steadily worse. The dentist saw me immediately, for which I am very grateful, x-rayed the teeth, identified two abscesses, and gave me two antibiotics. One was anti-alcohol which meant I had a dry two weeks. The following week I was scheduled to fly to Johannesburg and drive to Eswatini (Swaziland). On the Monday there was a lump in my gum, and it was still very painful. I had an emergency appointment, the abscess was lanced, and the relief was immediate!

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Pandemics and travels

It has been an inordinately long time since I last posted to my website. A lot has happened. In early July I travelled from Durban to Cape Town for a few days, seeing friends and staying with Derek and Lynn (my brother and wife). On Sunday 10th July I flew from Cape Town back to Norwich via Amsterdam. By Thursday I had a scratchy throat, headache, cough, and a metallic taste in my mouth. A day later I tested positive for Covid-19. The virus I had written so much about got me! I was not seriously ill, but it was not pleasant. I am convinced I was infected in an airport or on a plane.

I was due to travel to Montreal for the International AIDS Economics Network (IAEN) meeting ahead of the International AIDS Conference on Monday 25th July. Although I do not believe I was infectious, travelling seemed unwise. I was very relieved to consistently test negative in the days before I flew. At one point I thought my attendance was in doubt which would have been difficult for my colleagues as we were co-organising a meeting.

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